New Yorker Parody

By: Gookshoo the Hobgoblin

One of the things that I like about living in New Ork City is that it is always changing. I'm from Goblinville originally where most of the buildings are over 20 years old. But here in New Ork - the average life span of a building is about as long as a cast member's carrier on the "West Side Marinate and Puppet Show". (By the way - the W.S.M.P. cast puts on a great show every Saturday, at sunset, in front Victory Arch. If you have yet to see the show - I highly recommend you do.) The reason that buildings (save the King's fortress and the like) only last a few years - is because of the drunken brawls that

Department of howls and grunts

Funny New Yorker Cartoon Parody
New Yorker Cartoon Parody

come about every time Ogres take part in any sort of party. Wether it is a victory celebration, a sporting event or even a Gremlin's two year birthday party - If there is alcohol or free food, it won't take long before a bunch of smelly Ogres break in and start drinking like a fish. There are only two possible outcomes - either they drink until they pass out (in which case you can take what ever money or weapons they might have and then drag them outside and into a dark ally where you can only hope that a swarm of starving Gorts will find and eat them) or they will get furious at you for not anticipating the arrival of 20 uninvited guests and

thus not having enough drink to meet their needs! Naturally they will have no choice but to start a fight with any living thing within a hundred yards. As you might imagine - nothing pleases me more than to see party crashing Ogres beating each other to death.

However this, more times than not, results in the compleat demolishment of the building and (in some cases) other surrounding structures.
The benefit of this is that there is a never ending need for new housing and inventive architecture in New Ork City. A good example would be the recently renovated "Death Zoo" with...

We need writers to finish this article and to write others for this Orc-themed parody of "New Yorker" magazine. We also need artists interested in drawing other Orc (or non-human) related cartoons. If interested - visit our Orc Art Wanted page.