advice columns

Next Advice
Column ---->

<---- Previous
Advice Column

Orc Magazine's Main Page

Ask Da Orcs
Index Page

Mr. Gob'Wuxbux,
Goblin ,
Male,
Online Journalist for
New Orker Magazine

Popular Orc Mechanics

#10) Ask Da Orcs

Dear Ask Da Orcs,
     I'm a 21 year old who has a complete and utter moron for a younger sibling. We both still live in our mom's house. The reason I still live at home is because it's mere minutes away from my university and I am saving to travel overseas. The reason my brother still lives at home is because he's a big baby. When he didn't want to go to boarding school, our parents sold there house and my mother moved countries just to make his life easier, giving up all her friends and ruining her marriage. He is selfish, greedy, impolite, spiteful, petty, impatient, narrow-minded and takes the sacrifices our parents have made for him completely for granted, has never had a job and hasn't even taken his driving test at 18. He speaks about me with utter disrespect to his friends, and does many loserish things like look up hentai, steal money from our mother's wallet, and will lie about anything to get his way.
     The point of this rant is that when I speak to most people about these problems I have with him, their incapable of thinking for themselves and they give me some brainwashed nonsense about unconditional love and blood is thicker than water yada yada yada. Surely, if you can see someone for the horrible person that they are, you have every right to dislike somebody? Is every case so black and white when it comes to family? I think that everyone has to earn respect. Should people who are related to you by blood be able to escape this? People say that you should love your family because you can always count on them to stick by you... I think that its a bullshit reason - that's just how people cover there arse when they are down on there luck. While I can think of many reasons to have this love and respect for my parents and distant relatives, I see no reason to have these feelings towards my brother.
     While I'm sure you Greenies won't agree, a wise person said that true compassion is showing concern and love for others regardless of there actions and feelings towards you. I'll bet he doesn't live next to this jackass. I know, I sound melodramatic, but I think its in my interest to get an unbiased opinion from someone who's primary concern isn't just to keep the peace.
Love your site fellas,
- Big Bro

5) Response from Mr. Gob'Wuxbux
Dear B.B. -
     This "Mom always did like you best" crap is for losers. Stop whining about your brother and just worry about yourself.
 - Gob'Wuxbux

advice columns

1) Response from Prof. Pizpoploop

Dear "Big Bro":
     You officially have my permission to dislike your brother.
   Sincerely,
Prof. Pizpoploop

personal advice columns

Ms. Shaftfut
Hobgoblin , Female, Cartographer

advice columns with orks

Sgt. Groptoph,
Ogre ,
Male,
Sergeant in the Orc Imperial Army

advice column

Ms. Gunkatuk,
Half-Orc (half-human),
Female,
R.N. at Goblinville Medical Center

4) Response from Gunkatuk

Dear "Big Bro" -
     Maybe you should live in the dorm to get away from him.
- Gunkatuk

Gix,
Gremlin,
Hermaphrodite, 
Freelance Artist

6) Response from Gix:

Gix (the three word Gremlin) says...

Bitch... Bitch... Bitch...

Prof. Pizpoploop
Ridgeling,
Male,  
Alchemy professor at New Ork University

You?

2) Response from Ms. Shaftfut
Dear Big Bro:
     Firstly.... Jesus-Grandma-Humping-Christ!!! Lets set the record straight here once and for all!.... The words "There", "Their" and "They're" are NOT interchangeable! "There" is in reference to a place. "Their" is the possessive form of "They". And "They're" is a contraction of "They are". For example:
     "Those solders over there need to start packing their equipment or they're going to be late."
     Spell checkers can't prevent incorrect usage of these words. Remember that unless you enjoy looking like a fucking retard!

      Secondly.... Yes, you are right. A relative who is a jackass is still a jackass.

3) Response from Sgt. Groptoph
Rememba dat Charg'n inta battal wit TWO battle axes in ya hands mite look good, but ya be mo efectiv if'n ya only use da one. AAARRRrrrrrrgggGGGGGHHH!!!!!

Would you like to respond?
If you have something helpful or interesting to say to "Big Bro" please  post it on Our Forum . We will like to hear what you have to say and might add it to this page in the near future.