1) Response from Mr. Gob'Wuxbux
I fucking hate this when a nice person asks us for advice.
It takes all the fun out of being a smart ass!....
Dear S.G. -
You might not have her phone number now, but a few subtle inquiries (or a phone book) can remedy that. If she is rarely without her bubble of friends - then perhaps you should use that to your advantage. Ask her friends if she is dating anyone. If they ask you "Why you want to know?" - tell them. Her friends can then let you know if she is really into you or not.
- Gob'Wuxbux
Mr. Gob'Wuxbux,
Goblin
,
Male,
Online Journalist for
New Orker Magazine
Sgt. Groptoph,
Ogre
,
Male,
Sergeant in the Orc Imperial Army
#13) Ask Da Orcs
Dear Ask Da Orcs,
I'm a 17 year old, human male who is having girl trouble. Basically, there is this girl, which I'm totally, madly in love with. I could just say that she totally ignores me, and that I'm a big, sad geek and leave at that, but it's more complicated than that.
She is in my Classics lessons, and I get on fine with her. In fact, I get on great with her, and I suspect she may have a bit of a thing for me as well. In any case, I haven't got her number or any other way of contacting her, as I'm wayyy too shy to ask. She is always either surrounded by this big, protective bubble of her friends, or in the lesson. So.....
Remember that I said I keep getting signals from her? Well, she doesn't seem to act on it, and always disappears off to somewhere, and I'm too much of a coward to chase after her. Until today, where in a big pointless chase to try to talk to her, I, well, failed in that respect. Man, I felt like such a stalker, specially when I finally found her with some of her friends, and just stood there, pearlized with apprehension.
Please help. I'm slowly losing my sanity.
- "Shy Guy"
4) Response from Sgt. Groptoph
Hear iz how ya attract da femails...
1}- First ya ripp off ya shirt!
2]- Den pound ya chest while grunting!
3}_ Nex ya hop arround while ya throw stuff in ta da air!
4}-- Growl!
Dat gets dem hot evrey time!!! AAAAAaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrRRRGGHH!!!!!
5) Response from Prof. Pizpoploop
Dear "Shy Guy":
Five tips for asking a human girl out:
1. Be straightforward. If you want her to go out with you, say so. Get right to the point.
2. Look her in the eyes and smile when you ask her. Most young women will appreciate a guy who is confident enough to look her in the eyes when talking to her.
3. Get
her
number. If you meet a girl you like, don’t give her your number at the end of the night and just say, “Call me if you want.” Instead, take control and get
her
phone number.
4. Practice what you want to say. Doing so will help remove the nervous in your voice and replace it with a confident and nonchalant tone.
5. Be specific. You are better off asking her "Would you like to go to the movies with me tomorrow at about 7:00?" then asking something general like “Would you like to go out sometime?"
Sincerely,
Prof. Pizpoploop
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Gix,
Gremlin,
Hermaphrodite,
Freelance Artist
Ms. Shaftfut
Hobgoblin
, Female,
Cartographer
Ms. Gunkatuk,
Half-Orc
(half-human),
Female,
R.N. at Goblinville Medical Center
2) Response from Gunkatuk
Dear "Shy Guy" -
Are you sure there is no way of getting her phone number? This is the information age after all.
- Gunkatuk
Home Page - A.D.O. Index - Orc Magazine - Play Orc - What's New - Send Email - Orc Posters - Orc Links - Other Links
Prof. Pizpoploop
Ridgeling,
Male,
Alchemy professor at New Ork University
You?
6) Response from Ms. Shaftfut
Dear Shy Guy:
Firstly... Get her number (using Gix's link) and then ask her out.
Secondly... Try to remember that if she says "No" it is not the end of the fucking world.
Good luck,
- Shaftfut
3) Response from Gix:
Gix (the three word Gremlin) says...
Find... Number... Here...
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