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Mr. Gob'Wuxbux,
Goblin ,
Male,
Online Journalist for
New Orker Magazine

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Sgt. Groptoph,
Ogre ,
Male,
Sergeant in the Orc Imperial Army

#18) Ask Da Orcs

Dear A.D.O,
     I am a fourteen year old human male and recently an event happened at my school which I don't know if I was justified to do. It all started when for my art class our health and guidance professor kicked in and made up a project for us to do. We had to make a poster that promotes any rights association or foundation of our choice. Because I have two lesbian friends, Hannah and Maggie - one of whom was hospitalized because of a car crash -, I decided to make a gay and lesbian rights poster for her. I finished it and handed it in, and since our class was generally non-homophobic nobody made fun. Except for Ryan, that is.
Ryan decided he'd make some cruel jokes at Hannah's expense involving some toys and various breeds of goat. I ignored him, until the bastard went after Maggie. Normally I'd let Maggie defend herself because she's tough and I wish to avoid the damsel in distress stereotype as much as possible, but I couldn't help my self. He pushed her and she fell down a flight of stairs. He didn't intend for the stairs part, but I guess I just snapped.
I tackled him and beat the fucker's face into a bloody pulp, and got suspended for two weeks from school. He received no punishment.
So I'm sitting at home, and I feel stupid for asking, but was I justified to beat him down? Should I have let Maggie handle it by herself or just done the pussy thing and got help?
Yours truly,
-Confused Justification
 
P.S. Groptoph is cool shit.

5) Response from Sgt. Groptoph

Face smash'n works bedda wit a warhamma or da battle mace! Smash'n wit just ya hands takes much longga!

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Gix,
Gremlin,
Hermaphrodite, 
Freelance Artist

4) Response from Gix:

Gix (the three word Gremlin) says...

I... Think... Justified...

Ms. Shaftfut
Hobgoblin , Female, Cartographer

6) Response from Ms. Shaftfut
Dear Confused Justification:

Firstly... Among Orcs, violence is a socially acceptable response to most conflicts. However, you are NOT an Orc. Violence should have probably been your option of last resort.

Secondly... It should be pointed out that, even though you screwed up, at least you did do SOMETHING. In my opinion it would have been worse if you had just stood there like a dope.

- Shaftfut

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1) Response from Mr. Gob'Wuxbux
Dear C.J. -
     Two weeks isn't so bad. I'm sure Hannah and Maggie are grateful. Perhaps now they will let you watch.
- Gob'Wuxbux

We asked some follow up questions and got back the following responses:

1) Who's advice was the most helpful? Why?
 Shaftut's advice was the most helpful. Like she said, at least what I did was better than if I had simply stood there.

2) Who's advice was the least helpful? Why?
Gob'Wuxbux's. This is not to say that it was negative, and it made me laugh pretty hard, too, but if I ever did as he suggested, Maggie would bitch-slap me into next week.

3) It's been over a month since you wrote to the Orcs. Have there been any new developments? For example, has Ryan done anything else stupid?
No, not really. I haven't heard from him lately. But Hannah is out of the hospital from the car crash, now.

4) What did Hannah and Maggie have to say about all this?
 Maggie said to me that she felt bad I was suspended for her sake, but I told her that I didn't mind. I haven't had the chance to talk to Hannah yet, because she is staying home due to her injuries. (Her right leg and left ankle were broken. Poor thing.)

5) If you could do everything over again - what would you do differently?
Like Pizpoploop said, I probably should have gone straight to Maggie first. But I don't regret beating Ryan.

 

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Prof. Pizpoploop
Ridgeling,
Male,  
Alchemy professor at New Ork University

3) Response from Prof. Pizpoploop

Dear "Confused Justification": 
     You were in an institution of learning - not a martial arts dojo! You over reacted and are now paying the price.
I would have supported your actions if you had used violence to defend your friend, but there is a big difference between defending someone and retaliating on their behalf.
     In the situation you have described - your first action should have been to rush over to Maggie so that you could provide assistance if required and protection if necessary. You should not have lashed out of anger and dispensed $1,000 worth of punishment for a $50 crime. You made a mistake - learn from it.
     Sincerely,
Prof. Pizpoploop

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Ms. Gunkatuk,
Half-Orc (half-human),
Female,
R.N. at Goblinville Medical Center

2) Response from Gunkatuk

Dear "Confused Justification" -
     You might not have been justified, but it sounds to me like the jerk got what he deserved. Maybe that is why you were only suspended and not expelled.
- Ms. Gunkatuk

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