advice columns

2) Response from Mr. Gob'Wuxbux
Dear "Yamama" - 
    Too early to talk about the problem?!? What!?! It' s great that you fucked the guy (that's almost always a good thing) but the fact that you can't even TALK with him about it is a sure indication that you fucked him too soon. Here is a tip for you to consider the next time you are wondering if it is too early to have sex with a guy - if it is too early in the relationship to talk with a guy about about fucking him, then it is too early to be fucking him.
 - Gob'Wuxbux

Mr. Gob'Wuxbux,
Goblin ,
Male,
Online Journalist for
New Orker Magazine

advice columns rpg games
advice columns with orks

Prof. Pizpoploop
Ridgeling,
Male,  
Alchemy professor at New Ork University

Sgt. Groptoph,
Ogre ,
Male,
Sergeant in the Orc Imperial Army

#20) Ask Da Orcs

Dear Orcs:

Has any of you ever had something like this happen... I'm having sex with this really cool guy, but during the whole time he is inside of me he does not look at me. His eyes are closed the WHOLE time. Anyone know what that is about? We have had sex 4 times. Once was at night, in the dark, so I'm not sure if he had his eyes open or not. But the other 3 times was during the day and his eyes were shut the whole time. What gives? I've been with 2 other guys and neither of them did this.
What does it mean?
Is he thinking about someone else?
This bothers me, should it?
Any recommendations?

- Yamama

We asked a few questions and got the following responses:

How long have you known this guy?
We have only been dating for about 3 weeks.
How did you two meet?
Through a friend that he works with.

Have you talked to him about this problem?
 No, it is still a little early for that.

What does he do for a living?
Teacher

What is he like?
Handsome, sexy, a little on the quiet side compared to me.

In what way is he a "cool guy"?
 He is very confident. Very sure of himself.

3) Response from Sgt. Groptoph

Get ya a choppa or a big fatt club. Den stripp nak'd and smash da furniture. Den shag hiz bains out! Men likes dat! AAAAaaarrrrrrrggggGGGHHHH!!!!

5) Response from Prof. Pizpoploop

Dear "Yamama": 
     My answer to all of your questions is "ask him". I could hazard guesses as to what your man might be thinking, but you won't know for sure unless you ask him.
      Sincerely,
Prof. Pizpoploop

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Gix,
Gremlin,
Hermaphrodite, 
Freelance Artist

4) Response from Gix
Gix (the three word Gremlin) says...

He's... Just... Concentrating...

Ms. Shaftfut
Hobgoblin , Female, Cartographer

6) Response from Ms. Shaftfut
Dear Yamama:
     Firstly... Even if the guy is thinking about someone else - is that really such a big deal? Don't you think of of other men sometimes?
     Secondly... Recommendations? Well a woman can get a man to do just about anything by starting a sentence with "It makes me so hot when you...". So try telling him "It makes me so hot when you look into my eyes while we fuck!"
 - Shaftfut

personal advice columns

You?

advice column

Ms. Gunkatuk,
Half-Orc (half-human),
Female,
R.N. at Goblinville Medical Center

1) Response from Gunkatuk

Dear "Yamama" -
     He is probably trying to control his orgasm. If that is the case, then he is probably not thinking of another woman. Try not to worry about it and enjoy yourself. From what little you have told us about him - your boyfriend sounds quite nice.
 - Gunkatuk

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Would you like to respond?
If you have something helpful or interesting to say to "Yamama" please  post it on Our Forum . We will like to hear what you have to say and might add it to this page in the near future.