1) Response from Mr. Gob'Wuxbux
You neglected to sign your name
, so I'm going to call you "Numb Nuts".
Dear N.N. -
Don't try to score with the hottest girl in school, Numb Nuts - you'll just be setting yourself up for a major disappointment. Instead, aim your sights on "obtainable" girls. They will treat you better, are a tenth as likely to break your heart and are almost always more "grateful" - if you know what I mean. (Wink-wink!) (Nudge-nudge!)
- Gob'Wuxbux
Mr. Gob'Wuxbux,
Goblin
,
Male,
Online Journalist for
New Orker Magazine
Prof. Pizpoploop
Ridgeling,
Male,
Alchemy professor at New Ork University
Sgt. Groptoph,
Ogre
,
Male,
Sergeant in the Orc Imperial Army
#21) Ask Da Orcs
OK there's this girl in my school right? she's sooo fucking hot. it's crazy she's got to be the hottest girl i've ever seen. (by the way i'm 14, so yeah, 9th grade, :/ ) i've had a thing for her since like 7th grade, thing is she's really really "popular" and me, isn't. I'm not a big nerd or anything, but i'm not the coolest guy in school either. I'm going crazy now i'm like in love with her and don't know what to do. someone help me. I know someones going to tell me it's just young love and stuff but it's different this time! I'm so desperate help me.
5) Response from Sgt. Groptoph
Hit her wit da big club! Den hump her bains owt!!!!
AAAARRRrrrrrrrrrrgggggGGGHHHHHH!!!!
4) Response from Prof. Pizpoploop
You claim to be in love with this girl, but from what you have written it would seem that you know very little about her. Your attraction appears to be purely physical. Try talking with this girl. Get to know her better. You might discover that the two of you have nothing in common.
Sincerely,
Prof. Pizpoploop
Next Advice
Column ---->
<---- Previous
Advice Column
Orc Magazine's Main Page
Ask Da Orcs
Index Page
Gix,
Gremlin,
Hermaphrodite,
Freelance Artist
3) Response from Gix
Gix (the three word Gremlin) says...
Ask... Her... Out...
Ms. Shaftfut
Hobgoblin
, Female,
Cartographer
6) Response from Ms. Shaftfut
Firstly... The words "I", "I'm" and "I've" should always be capitalized.
Secondly... If you have yet to talk with this girl - then do so. Girls like boys who are interested in them. So ask her about herself and learn to be a good listener. If she won't give you the time of day or otherwise indicates that she is not interested in you - then forget about her and ask some other girl out. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
- Shaftfut
Home Page - A.D.O. Index - Orc Magazine - Play Orc - What's New - Send Email - Orc Posters - Orc Links - Other Links
You?
Would you like to respond?
If you have something helpful or interesting to say to "Numb Nuts" please
post it on Our Forum
. We will like to hear what you have to say
and might add it to this page in the near future.
Ms. Gunkatuk,
Half-Orc
(half-human),
Female,
R.N. at Goblinville Medical Center
2) Response from Gunkatuk
Dear "Whatever your name is" -
Is she dating anyone right now? If so, then there is no reason to get all bent out of shape for nothing.
- Gunkatuk
Play Orc
Magazine