Advice column spoofs with orcs from lord of the rings.
Dear abby advice columns spoof with lord of the rings orcs!
Dear abby advice columns spoof with lord of the rings orcs!
Dear abby advice columns spoof with lord of the rings orcs!
Advice columns with Orks!

Sgt. Groptoph,
Ogre ,
Male,
Sergeant in the Orc Imperial Army

Ms. Gunkatuk,
Half-Orc (half-human),
Female,
R.N. at Goblinville Medical Center

Ms. Shaftfut
Hobgoblin , Female, Cartographer

#4) Ask Da Orcs

Dear, A.D.O. panel:
     I'm a sophomore attending collage @ UCLA. My roommate's b/f is in the habit of not putting the toilet seat back down after using our bathroom. I've confronted my roommate about this twice, but her b/f keeps leaving the seat up! Should I talk to him myself? Perhaps I should point out that he does not pay the rent - we do. What do u recommend?
Thanks,
- Sophomore

1) Response from Prof. Pizpoploop

Dear "Sophomore":
      You are in your 3rd year of collage. Prier to that you attended 4 years of high school. So I'm going to assume you are at least 7 years old... Human men leaving toilet seats up is part of life. Learn to check before you sit. If this is the biggest roommate-related complaint you have - then consider yourself lucky. No, you should NOT talk to the boyfriend yourself, nor should you speak to your roommate about this subject again.
      Sincerely,
- Prof. Pizpoploop

6) Response from Mr. Gob'Wuxbux
Dear Sophomore -
     Get yourself your own boyfriend.
Then, maybe, you won't be such an uptight bitch.
- Gob'Wuxbux

5) Response from Gunkatuk
Dear "Sophomore" -
    Put a sign up in the bathroom "Please put toilet seat down. Thank you."
- Gunkatuk

3) Response from Ms. Shaftfut

 Dear Sophomore:
     Firstly... Don't use cyber-shorthand! Use "at" not "@". Use "boyfriend" not "b/f". And use "you" not "u"! Using Cyber-shorthand might save you a few precious seconds, but it makes you look like a fucking retard.
     Secondly... You're a big girl. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. They need it up, you need it down. You don't hear men complaining about women leaving it down.
- Shaftfut

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Mr. Gob'Wuxbux,
Goblin,
Male,
Online Journalist for
New Orker Magazine

Play Orc
Magazine

Gix,
Gremlin,
Hermaphrodite, 
Freelance Artist

4) Response from Gix:

Gix (the three word Gremlin) says...

Look... Before... Sitting...

Prof. Pizpoploop
Ridgeling,
Male,  
Alchemy professor at New Ork University

You?

2) Response from Sgt. Groptoph
Kill da puny hu-man! Bash'em!! AAARRRrrrrrrGGGGHH!!!!
...Etha dat or look befor ya sit.

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